Why Uncommon?

And...I did the best mom thing I have ever done-- pulled all 3 kids out of school to homeschool and roadschool for the 2013-14 school year. We crammed a lot into that year, including 5, ~3 week road trips around the country. We visited national parks, museums, friends and family, historical sites, and lots of obscure monuments. I also casually brought the topic of college into our conversations, and on each trip we drove or walked through 2-3 colleges. The kids were too young for formal tours or hard sells, but these drive-by's were a great way to strike up conversations about college life. 

I also brought college admissions books to read on the road, and the more I researched, the more I realized my philosophy on college admissions and parenting was not very common...

I didn't want to hold my kids' hands all the way to the gates of the university, let alone beyond, nor did I want to throw a book at them and say "Good luck!".

I wanted to be a part of the process...an important part...but not drive the process.

In other words, I wanted to empower my kids with knowledge and belief in themselves, while having their back and helping each one find a great fit, or multiple great fits, for college.

Then this happened...

In the summer of 2014, back at work at a local medical device company, I went to a department picnic and struck up a conversation with a colleague, Greg (not his real name). I knew Greg to be a very caring dad and family man, so I was floored when he talked about his kids and their college debt, real or anticipated. His oldest had recently graduated from college and was in debt to the tune of around $60,000. His next oldest was finishing up his junior year and already owed over $50,000. And his youngest had just accepted admission to a local private college and Greg felt certain she would end up with over $80,000 of debt by the time she graduated. All three of his kids were in, or planned to be in, service-oriented professions, so no doctors, lawyers, or IT geeks with prospects of $100k/year salaries.

During my research over the past few years I have noticed two distinct schools of thought when it comes to a parent’s role in the college admissions process.

One…

This is the kid’s life and the kid’s decision and the parent should not help in any way, or at most, minimally. Missed deadlines? Applying to every “dream” school out there? No idea what he wants to be when he grows up? Not a parent’s issue or problem; the kid will figure it out.

Two…

A parent’s role is to hand-hold through the entire process including filling out forms, heavily editing or even writing the essay, and stalking admissions representatives until, and sometimes beyond, the first day of freshman year. 

The Uncommon College Guide is all about approaching the college admissions process as a TEAM, with the parent playing the part of a savvy veteran, and the teenager the part of the star player.

Star players can be egocentric (sounds like most teenagers), need role models to demonstrate the best way to do things, and occasionally need a kick in the rear. Sometimes the veteran needs to take charge to demonstrate the way forward, and sometimes needs to step back, often sacrificing ego by listening more than talking, even when “the answer” seems so obvious.

Ultimately, the veteran needs to fade into the background and let the star shine when the time is right.

This analogy holds true during the college admissions process, though it is not the most common approach. In the dozens of college admissions books and websites I have read, very few take this tact. And make no mistake, either of the first two schools of thought are probably easier, but using a team-based approach will help your teen make the best choice of colleges for her/him, and for your family.

Teamwork, along with a shared Commitment, are the glue that holds together the three pillars of a successful college admissions process: Conversations, The Search, and Covering the Costs. 

And-- BONUS! Going through this process together will enhance what is hopefully a good relationship and make it even better as your child transitions to adulthood.

Welcome.

My mission is to help parents and kids not just survive the college admissions process, but to thrive through it. To help launch the budding adult to a college he/she will love, and come out in four or five years with a college degree, minimal debt, and a fulfilling job.